© 2011 Timmy Tamisiea. All rights reserved. Everyone looks like this in the Caribbean, right?

4/365 – Travel Advisory

 

TRAVEL ADVISORY

Today, Megan and I got in our first married couple fight.  In wouldn’t even call it a fight – I mean I just fell down some stairs . . . really . . . <sniffle> . . . she loves me, I swear.  Please don’t take her away —

No, really, we got in a spat over how to open a new gift that came in the mail.  I was using the letter opener and she kept insisting I use a knife as she thought the letter opener would break.  Really stupid fight over something so petty . . . except that I stole that letter opener from my last real job – suckers!

The fact of the matter is, we’re leaving at 3:30 am tomorrow for our honeymoon and I think we both feel totally unprepared.  It’s driving me crazy!

It's not driving me THAT crazy.

So why am I so anxious?  Why not?  I’ve got less than 24 hours to really plan for this trip.  we spent so muych time on the wedding that this trip crept up on us like the punchline to this joke . . .

. . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . . BOOM!

As Megan put it, if we were going to, say, Missouri, we’d know what to do.  But this is a completely different beast.  A beast from the Caribbean where for once, we will really be strangers in a strange land.

Everyone looks like this in the Caribbean, right?

My Spanish hasn’t grown much from freshman year at Marquette where I frequently told my classmate, Chip, “Yo bailo la lambada con mama de Chip.”  As well, I have no idea what the customs are – do we shake hands with strangers or run from them?  What about dress?  We’re staying at a resort but is there s dress code for dinner – slacks or giant leaves around my groin.  It’s all just too much . . . .

Plus, if I wasn’t an idiot and agreed to work tonight, I’d have time to read the guide book I bought and help Megan plan our activities and learn phrases like, “Does this leaf make my groin look big?”

But, as Megan pointed out, this will be a fun adventure because we’re doing this together.  So she’s doing a lot of the work while I write this post at work.

 

So . . . Tomorrow.  3:30am.  Limo to airport (courtesy of Matt Spizen).  5:50 flight to Miami.  Do gay things in Miami.  Gay.  Fly to Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic.  HONEYMOON.

 

 

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