We here at the Tamisiea household take Halloween very seriously. If you’re going to go out in public with a costume, you better have the commitment, creativity and have done your research before you blaze that trail to pumpkin beer intoxication. You can’t just slap on a Superman t-shirt under a half button shirt and say “I’m Clark Kent.” It’s been done. You can’t just go to Victoria’s Secret and buy another pair of sexy lingerie and say you’re a slutty nurse. You’re just a slut. You can’t walk the streets trying to get my money and saying you’re a whore . . . oh, you ARE a whore. Sorry. No hablo whore.
This was what Megan and I wore this year (our first year doing a couple’s costume.)
Yeah, we’re the Maitlins form Beatlejuice. And before you start harping in about how we just found a wig and a dress , blah blah blah – we did our research. That hair, yeah, that’s Alec Baldwin hair – see:
Megan even found the cover to the “Handbook for the Recently Deceased” and printed it out, found the right color construction paper and made that damn book. RESEARCH, SON!
So, for Halloween, I’d like to present the top 12 costumes I’ve had the privilege of seeing. Granted, they’re almost all me, Megan or my brother Patrick’s – but like I said, we take Halloween seriously in the Tamisiea household. The important thing to remember is that we didn’t just WEAR these costumes. No, we inhabited these characters. We played them all night. We’re like FBI profilers on Halloween – we get into the mind of our characters . . . or killers. Whatever.
(NOTE – I don’t have many pictures for these costumes, unfortunately. We were probably drunk and people took them of us. We were’t in the right frame of mind to take them of ourselves.)
#12 – Ed Grimley
Martin Short is a genius. The guy is so funny and I think he’s one of the more underrated comedians out there. When I saw him do Ed Grimely for the first time on Saturday NIght Live, I was mesmerized. I laughed till I had an appendicitus. Not really, but I laughed.
I made this costume when I was in 4th and 5th grade. Yeah, I wore it twice. Sue me – I loved Ed Grimley – the guy was iconic. And man, as a kid, it was probably adorable to see me running around with my pants hiked up to my chin, my hair in a point and dancing around with a picture of Pat Sajak. I even pranced around with a triangle – totally mental.
#11 – Theatre Floor
Los Angeles, 1996. I had transferred to Loyola Marymount and was pretty lonely. I didn’t have many friends and I spent most of my time in the library. It’s no wonder I transferred back to Marquette that next spring. The fact was, I was completely unprepared to go out in any costume. So when my roommate suggested we do so, I was at a loss for any ideas. So what did I do? I grabbed a black turtleneck and some black sweatpants and taped candy wrappers, popcorn and cups to myself. Not stylish, but it did the trick.
#10 – The Denorex Man
I was a Freshman in college going to my first costume party. I didn’t have much so I had to really improvise. This would be the start of my fabulous costume ideas. I grabbed my roommates robe, slippers and shaving cream. I parted my hair and lathered the having cream all over my head, making a single part down the middle. I was the Denorex man. Not sure who he is:
Yeah, that right. THE Denorex man. I mad everyone tingle that night. Cars whizzed by me on the street yelling, “What side does it tingle on?” I won two costume awards. 2nd place for best costume and the “Looks Like He Just Rolled Out Of Bed” award.
#9 – Dog the Bounty Hunter
Dog the Bounty Hunter was a fantastic A&E reality show that followed this former meth addict who was now a bounty hunter in Hawaii . . . 2006 – this was a great year as Patrick and I were living together and while our costumes weren’t connected in any theme what so ever, the combination almost created a sitcom. PAtrick really got into detail for this one and once the costume was finished, he kept in Character all night – trying to take down ice heads! Dog is know for using bear mace to subdue offenders. PAt substituted compressed air for a can of bear mace and kept scarring the crap out of people all night as he’d “take them down” with it. Awesome.
#8 – Gene Shalit
The counterpart to Patrick’s Dog the Bounty Hunter was my Gene Shallot – the old movie reviewer. This was a great costume that almost got me beat up. After a few beers, we walked to a party where I kept yelling movie pun insults at some Frat looking guys. Megan kept telling me to keep it down. Patrick, I think, was egging it on. It was a great night. Especially when I got drunk and all these people cheered Gene on as he peed off a Chicago rooftop – it was GENE they were cheering on. Not Timmy.
#7 – Richie Tenenbaum
To me, at the time (2003) I could not be any cooler character than Richie Tenenbaum from Wes Anderson’s great film, The Royal Tenenbaums. It’s not that the costume was incredibly original, it’s that I went to great lengths to get every detail. And this costume proved an important fact when creating the perfect replica for Halloween; plan ahead for facial hair. If you can avoid buying fake hair pieces, do. So I grew my beard out for the love-lorn, sensitive former tennis champ. Here’s the kicker . . . the party I attended had a Margo Tenenbaum (Gweneth Paltrow’s character) and Eli Cash (Owen Wilson’s charter) effectively creating the love triangle from the film. Perfect.
#6 – John Lock
2007 was a great year for costumes. However, everyone was a lost character that year. That’s okay. I, however, went the extra distance by shaving my head and wearying a dirty tan t-shirt so I could be the great John Locke. Oh, and buying a close replica to John Lock’s backpack . . . OH, and the kicker on this one. At the party, Patrick would start making alarm sounds every 108 minutes. i would then proceed to pull out a computer keyboard from my backpack and type in 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42 (http://lostpedia.wikia.com/wiki/The_numbers). Yeah, that’s what I mean about dedication to a costume.
#5 – Slim Goodbody
Slim Goodbody was a PBS children’s how about learning about how your body functions and how to treat it well. It was hosted by Slim Goodbody who was a translucent man – you could see all his body parts.
Yeah – really creepy. Well, the only non-Tamisiea entry was that 2007 costume. My best friend, Nolan Beran, was expecting a baby in about a month. So he and his wife Kara were homebound that night . . or not. Because Nolan’s dedication to his costume, he had Kara drive him all the way uptown so he could come to this party (where he knew not a soul) and show off his perfectly detailed Slim Goodbody costume. Only pictures do it justice.
#4 – The Annoying Girl from A Christmas Story
Again, 2007. Patrick executed this costume with the ol’ Patrick Tamisiea craziness. This is the character from A Christmas Story who won’t leave Ralphie alone as they wait to visit Santa at the mall. “I like the Wizard of Oz . . . .” “I like the Tin-Man . . . ” As you can imagine, Patrick tested the limits of stranger’s patience as he approached them on the streets, stared at them and then, after a long awkward pause, stated some arbitrary fact about The Wizard of Oz. The best was when he did it to a bouncer who did not get it at all. He just told Patrick to “Get the fuck away from me.” Classic Patrick.
#3 – Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
2005 was a banner year for Tamisiea costumes, and this one may have taken the cake. Patrick went all out with prosthetics and hair pieces to create an uncanny version of SNL Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. He wandered the party we were attending saying, “I may be just a primitive caveman; your sophisticated alcoholic drinks scare and confuse me . . . ” It was literally like a Hollywood makeup artist came to Pat’s apartment and got him ready for a shoot.
#2 – Mary Todd Lincoln (seconds after the assassination)
Again, 2005. Amazing. This little getup was worn by none other than Megan. And it pretty much stamped her into the history of grew Halloween costumes. Why? Because this wasn’t just a imitation of a historical woman, this was a moment in time captured for an entire night. Grimm and morbid? Yes. Creative and authentic when set against all the sexy nurses at that party/ Definitely. She found a period dress, a wig and the appropriate make-up, then she splattered blood all over herself. She went as far as reasserting the playbill for the show the Lincolns saw that night, “Our American Cousin” and recreated it. That’s Halloween dedication.
#1 – Old Wolverine
Again – 2005. This is by far one of my most favorite costumes I ever made. And it took me some time to make. I wanted to go as a comic book character, but not in any old fashion. So, I thought, wouldn’t it be fun to be good ol’ Logan / Wolverine after he’s let himself go. It was as if his healing factor was like his metabolism and with age, it just got slower. I had a homemade fat suit (two garbage bags and some pillow fluff). I made a Wolverine xxl shirt. I grew my hear out so I could get the hair wings. I made bushy eyebrows and the mutton shops from a Abraham Lincoln beard. I even took some old man glasses and put the iconic wolverine head piece “whoosh” on them. Adamantium claws. Never. I took gloves and placed plastic knives in them – because Wolverine’s kids had them replaced – dad was getting to old to use them responsibly. I walked around the party with a cigar yelling in an old man, gruff voice, “I’m Wolverine!” and then coughing a lot. Heck, I even made a Wolverine AARP card I flashed every once in awhile.