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39/365 – Ode to a Futon Mattress
© 2011 Timmy Tamisiea. All rights reserved. IMG_0242

39/365 – Ode to a Futon Mattress

In the post, Tacoma Narrows, I mentioned an old green futon mattress I just gave away.  Our friend, Matt Spitsen, just moved to Chicago and we wanted to give him anything we didn’t beed anymore so he could start out this new adventure fully stocked.  It occurred to me while writing that post that when you get married, you consolidate and condense your lives to make room for the new combined one.  This goes for decisions as well as material goods.  The old green futon mattress was just a victim of that consolidation.  Maybe “victim” is a strong word, but that damn mattress and I have been through a lot.  I have owned it since August 1998, when I moved into The Compound (my senior year house I lived in).  That’s over 13 years.

As far as I’m concerned, this is just forensic evidence of a crime.

Let’s be straight here – this was no run of the line, foam stuffed futon mattress.  It similar to when Memory Foam makes fun of spring coiled mattresses – a spring coiled futon mattress could make fun of foam filled futon mattresses anytime.  This was the Royals Royce of futon mattresses.  This is the Bling Bling of the contemporary apartment sleeping furniture.  For crying out loud, I bought it at an actual Milwaukee mattress store.  It was made to last.  I remember it had a 10 year warranty.  That ended in 2008!

That mattress has seen a lot.

  • It was with my my senior year as I sat on the floor next to it after a house party and drunkenly counted our proceeds from the door.  hat’s when my roommate Pat Ford walked in to me surrounded by bills.  He just looked at me and said, “All business.  All business,” and slowly walked out.
  • It was used multiple times as a cushioning for the bottom of moving vans when I was transporting my stuff to a new apartment.
  • Megan and I first made out on it 😉
  • Other girls made out with me on it ;(
  • Other people made out on it without me 😐
  • Make out . . . .
  • It was my bed in Milwaukee, New York City, Multiple Chicago Apartments, and Lansing.
  • It was a source of conflict when I was staying with my friend’s parents in New Jersey and their basement flooded.  I thought it was ruined and wanted reimbursement.  They claimed the flooding was my fault . . . yeah, they claimed it was my fault.
  • Patrick and I sat on it multiple times to get drunk while we watched horrible On Demand movies.
  • Many, many guests have slept on it as Megan I utilized as our living room couch – my dad, my brothers, Matt Spitsen, Randy Hawthorne . . . .
  • It’s been my “pass out” couch when I came home to tired or drunk to go to my bed, sliding into the crevice of it’s bend, drooling into the fabric.
  • It was a focus for Pat and I’s video submission for a Sketcher’s commercial job.

I guess I just wanted to send an official sentimental farewell to the futon mattress that saw me through my 20s.   Matt . . . you should probably wash it.

2 Comments


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