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51/365 – Legends of the Gall – (Part 2 of 4)

Hey gang!  It’s Monday!  I’ve probably slept no more than 5 hours.  Been sleeping less and less the past two weeks – 3 jobs, school, this blog and now a sick wife in the hospital will do that to you.  Or you can just start a serious coke habit.  In any case, I shower and head to the hospital to keep Megan company; try to get her mind off the impending surgery.  Last night, when I left here in the sterile, cramped hospital room, she was near tears.  I hated to go.  So my job today is to keep her happy and fearless.

You can’t see it, but Taylor Swift is getting her gall bladder removed right now.

I rush to Megan’s room only to discover that her parents are in Chicago.  I had told them the night before that making the trip from Kentucky would be a waste of time as this was a routine surgery.  I just didn’t want them to worry.  Well, my newest lesson as a new son-in-law – don’t keep parents away from their daughter in a time of need.  Listen, part of me wanted to handle the situation all by myself.  however, another part also understood that Megan is their little girl.  She always will be.  I just want the brunt of any responsibility to be passed on to me.  That and you need to understand that my family responds to medical emergencies with logic.  Like I said in my post yesterday, I come from a family of doctors.  My dad, being a retired radiologist, is the greatest resource for all things medical.  You can hear the smile on his face when you ask him a medical question – he loves it.  He’s sharing his knowledge.  Sometimes, sharing it too much.

I once had my good friend Sarah Nash call him after she woke up with extreme foot pain.  She thought she had smacked her foot that night when sleepwalking to use the bathroom.  My dad started the conversation with, “Well, now it’s probably not cancer.”  He wasn’t jesting.  He was serious.  Hell, in 8th grade, I had to label the parts of the human heart on a diagram for science class.  I asked him fro help and got a hour and a half lecture on the circulatory system.  We added 8 more sheets of paper so he could draw more circulatory detail.  So, it goes without saying – medical procedures are just a way of life in my family.  “Oh, gall bladder surgery.  She’ll be fine.”  We approach these things with logic.

Oh, you’re burning alive. You’ll be fine. It’s a standard procedure.

With that said,  I was thinking that the Green family doesn’t need to haul themselves up to Chicago for this procedure.  I guess I need to add to my sensitivity training that to them it’s not a procedure, it’s surgery.  And it’s surgery that pertains to their daughter.  So, while I didn’t think they needed to be there, they wanted to, and I respect that.  Even though, apparently, at Swedish Covenant, doctors make their own god-damn schedules.  See, there’s a huge disconnect between all the nurses, doctors and departments in that hospital.  That morning, Megan wasn’t even on the surgery schedule.  Even though we were told that she would be.  She had to be seen by the attending doctor before any scheduling was to happen.  He comes in between, ooohhh, Ib don’t know, 11-ish and whenever his golf game ends.   So we have to wait for him before anything is scheduled.  Good thing we have insurance through Groupon because I really feel this should have been over and done with.  Not a multi-day ordeal. (Megan works at Groupon.  We didn’t by a Groupon for medical insurance.  6 months of medical insurance for half off!  I wish.)

Groupon Heart Surgery. Three heart surgeries at the Midtown Express Medical Clinic for the price of one!

In the end, Megan is told that her Surgery will happen tomorrow morning.  TOMORROW MORNING! Damn-it!  So she has to just lay there in bed with pain until the doctor sees it fit to do his job.  To make things worse, she still can’t eat anything until the surgery, which is scheduled to happen between “no one knows” and “whenever I feel like it.”  Ice chips.  That’s Megan’s diet.  She hasn’t eaten since 6:30 Saturday night.

Mmmmmm. A meal good enough for Calista Flockhart

Finally, to cap it off Megan’s fantastic journey into the unknown, she has a new roommate; a 90-something woman who poops her pants and clearly needs a room where she can get individual attention.  We feel sorry for her.  Her daughter just dropped her off willy nilly and never came back.  Guess she had a golf game with Megan’s doctor.  And Megan’s too kind to watch TV because she doesn’t want to disturb her roommate.  Sigh.

So I go to work – North Face – and receive this text. “Hey, call me when you can.  I talked with my surgeon.  I have to get a scan of my body to make sure that a gall stone didn’t escape.  :(  I could be here until Wednesday.”  Fantastic.  Luckly I got this text a few hours later, “No extra stones!!  Yay!  So they are just doing the gall bladder removal tomorrow at 11 or 11:30am” . . .

. . . Or whenever the doctor feels up to it.

W.W.P.A.D.

 

One Comment

  1. Posted 26 Jun ’12 at 4:57 am | Permalink

    Both my mom and grandmother have had their gall bedladrs removed. Grandma has been without hers for probably close to 40 years (she’s 94). I see no discernable difference from my mom in the 6-odd years she’s been without her’s, other than she probably doesn’t tolerate supper rich/fatty food quite as well. Which, as a side effect, isn’t terrible. Anyway, thoughts are with you both. You’ve had a crappy couple months.

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