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138/365 – Tooth Loss
© 2012 Timmy Tamisiea. All rights reserved. dr-jesus-e-mata-c_2

138/365 – Tooth Loss

I’m in midway airport. Waiting for my flight to LA. Megan and I tried to spend as much time together as we could before I left. I think we are both avoided the subject of being away from each other for awhile – but last night we did a good job of getting the fear out so we could rally for each other.  We would talk about the actual fact that I was leaving, but not the consequences – meaning, this will be hard.  Of course, the last time I was away from her this long, I realized she was the girl I wanted to marry.  So, I do believe that distance does make the heart grow fonder.  But, I’d be lying if I said it wouldn’t bother me.

Just this past Monday, my co-workers and I were talking about dreams. I never remember my dreams.  I just don’t.  The ones I do remember always seem to be about losing my teeth.  Either they are falling out or crumbling or cracking — It’s an awful realistic nightmare and is usually accompanied by stressful periods in my life.  I had one the just last week that I totally forgot about.  It’s hard to reconcile these dreams because I know what the signify — which I’ll get to in a moment.

When my brother passed away, I had many restless nights and lots of dreams about tooth loss.  I was ready to drop out of school — ready to give up a lot of things because I felt that my life was in too much flux.  The dreams just left me with more anxiety.  To make things worse, I was at a point in my life where I didn’t cry.  I am still kind of there. Unless I was drunk, I just couldn’t muster up tears.  It was in the middle of this chaos that I was given an assignment for my class, Short Forms.  We were to make a biographical short film using no more than 10 still images.  We could incorporate music and text if needed, but that was it.

So, there I was, in my bedroom trying to figure out what I was going to do.  I had my 10 pictures and the basic story; I wanted to tell the story of my bad luck with chipping my front tooth.  (5 times over 27 years — now 6.)  I started piecing together the pictures and the music and the text but I felt kike I was just phoning the film in.

Then it happened. Something just clicked. I realized that I wasn’t trying to tell the story of my teeth being chipped at all.  There was another story developing and it was something completely different.  I entered into this cathartic fury of editing.  When I was done at 3am, I watched the film . . . and for the first time since my brother had died, I cried.  Not an overdramatic, Hollywood cry. Just a real, simple, very honest cry.  I remember calling Megan but she was sleeping and too out of it so I just took that moment to be with myself.

This is the film . . .

That’s the first time I’ve shared that publicly, and for a comedy blog, it’s not very funny.  So I apologize.  Sometimes you have to share these things with the world. With tooth loss dreams and stress, I thought I’d share where these dreams originate.  In relation to the beginning of this post, I had this dream again, and I’m sure it’s part of the process of leaving for 6 weeks.  I’ll miss my wife while I’m gone, but I also know that we’ll be fine.  So, with that out in the open, no more tooth loss dreams — one is enough.  We’ll be okay and because of Steve Jobs and FaceTime on our Macs, we’ll be able to talk and SEE each other. Crazy.

My flight is boarding.  I will continue to keep up this blog and continue to keep it light.  Just wanted to get this out . . . Talk to you all tomorrow when I write about hippos with Aspergers!

He loves video games but won't let you touch him.

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