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241/365 – The Trip-Day 7: Sin City
© 2012 Timmy Tamisiea. All rights reserved. Wait a minute . . . are we in Vegas or New York?  Oh, Sin City, you tricked us again.

241/365 – The Trip-Day 7: Sin City

Woke up in the creepy Mormon surroundings of The Seven Sisters Inn.  Despite the creepiness, these Mormon chicks really lay on the good food.  Especially when compared to sad showing Glenwood Springs showed us the day before.  I mean, look at Megan’s parfait!

It took all seven wives to construct this . . . and one to eat it!

Goodbye Seven Sisters Inn — we’ll probably will never see you again.  Megan’s seen Sister Wives, so she gets it.

God shines his light on those who . . . forget it. It’s just a weird exposure.

Today we leave Utah and travel to Sin City . . . It’s only 2 hours away.  We could just go straight to LA, but we need a day of fun and games.  So we jump in the truck and say goodbye to Harriet and her sisters.  And like that, BOOM, we’re in Arizona.  And like that BOOM, we’re in Nevada.  Three states in under an hour?  Craaaaazy.

Since we have so much time, we decide to visit the Hoover Dam.  Megan had visited this marvel of engineering when she was a little girl.  I have never been . . . well, I’ve been there virtually in Fallout: New Vegas.  I hope there’s non of Ceasar’s Legion there.  Ha ha ha ha . . . erghm.  Sorry.  That was for the nerds.

Oh man, I bet the real thing PALES in comparison.

We decided to take the long route to the Dam through The Lake Mead Recreational Area — where all dead people in CSI end up.  It was a nice little drive.  Saw some water.  Saw some desert.  Paid 10 bucks.  You know.  A RECREATIONAL area.

I’d like to show you pictures of the Hoover Dam.  I really would.  I bet it’s quite impressive.  But here’s the thing, when you arive at the check point with a 16 foot moving truck full to the brim with your material goods — well, you’re considered a security risk.  They wouldn’t let is in.  The cop was really gracious and super nice.  We talked about my bikes and Chicago.  Still, he just couldn’t let us in.  We wasted an hour and half getting there when we could have been soaking in some cocktails in Vegas.  Ho Hum.

So we drive into Vegas and pull up to the massive MGM Grand hotel.  This place is gigantic.  We have to park our truck in an over sized parking lot behind the hotel.  First, though, we have to check in.  Here’s where things get aggravating.  A group of twenty somethings are checking in.  They have the shortest line so we jump in behind them.  Little did we know that they’re STUPID.  First, they’re checking into the wrong hotel.  Instead of leaving to their intended lodgings, they decide to book a room right there.  Then they start asking about their room key card.  They’re worried that all their personal info is on the card and if they lose it someone will have access to their accounts . . . have you ever stayed in a hotel?   These people are just dumb.  What should have taken 10 minutes takes 35.  It took us 5 minutes to check in.

Wait a minute . . . are we in Vegas or New York? Oh, Sin City, you tricked us again.

So, now we just walk the strip while I get drunk.  Well, buzzed.  Megan wasn’t into drinking at the time, so I had a frozen alcoholic drink right away.  All the driving is driving me to drink . . . drink deliciously!  The whole thing about being here in Las Vegas is to take a chance to relax and have fun.  So we want money to be a non-issue.  We want time yo be a non-issue.  We also want schedules to be a non-issue.  Also, we want to make sure Celine Dion knows how I feel about her . . .

Get it? She’s back. Man, the marketing people for Celine are so smart!

So we head to a Sushi restaurant in a mall next to the Cosmopolitan Casino and Hotel.  Not bad.  Very expensive.  But, who cares?!  The sushi is delicious and I have another drink.  Two actually.  Buzz imminent.  Then we made a stop at my favorite store, Kidrobot – which was disappointing.  Nothing there I wanted.  Then MEgan made a stop at het favorite store, The Bettie Page Store.  Now fellas, let’s not get into stereotypes, okay.  I know there’s this common thought that men waiting in a woman’s clothing store while their woman tries on clothes is boring . . . but if you haven’t watched your woman put on clothing at a Bettie Page Store, you’re missing out — not to mention you’re an idiot.  I happen to like watching Megan come out of a dressing room with cool looking vintage style dresses.  Call me a love sick fool, but I think my wife is sexy.  Deal.



 Now that Megan has had a full meal and tried on a few sexy dresses, she’s ready to have a drink with me.  We walk the strip till we reach a bar called Parasol Up.  It’s mid-day on a Tuesday, so the place is virtually empty.  we grab a couch and swallow a few fancy drinks.  Well, I did.  Megan hated her fancy libation so I ordered her a Blue Moon . . . she’s so simple.  In a good way.  Not a hillbilly way.

What’s wrong, Megan?

You don't like it?  But it looks so colorful and fantastical.

You don’t like it? But it looks so colorful and fantastical.

Like mine.   Oooohhhh. I feel like Miranda from Sex and the City Part 2 . . . no, now I feel like shit.

Fiiiine. Here’s your magical Las Vegas beverage, Megan. Don’t let it go to your head.

Now the plan is to do EVENTS.  We buy tickets for a outdoor gondola ride at 9:30pm at the Venetian.  Then we jump on a bus and head up the strip to the Stratosphere.  From the outside, it looks like an amazing futuristic beacon of technology and hope.  A grander Space Needle, if you will.

Oooooooh. I wonder what marvels the inside holds?

Here’s the thing about Vegas; for the most part, it miles apart from your average mid-west casino.  There’s the atmosphere of fun and excitement, the diversity among the crowd is immense and gambling really is just one of many activities to partake in.  The casino floor of The Stratosphere juse smells of old people and regret.  It’s quite depressing.  If it wasn’t for the attractions at the top of the tower, I’m not sure anyone would venture this far up the strip.  I mean, look at my face once we got tickets to a ride at the pinnacle of the tower.

And let me tell you, the top of the world in Los Vegas is a fun place to be . . . well for some.  This Indian family (dot, not feather) decided to go on a few of the rides while their father took pictures of them from the observation deck.  Beside him seemed to be his young son – no older than 5.  That kids was screaming bloody murder.  At first., Megan and I thought he was afraid of the height.  Nope.  He was scared for his sisters and mom who were on one of these rides.  He would not stop screaming at his dad just kept taking pictures.  I wanted to shake the man and say, DUDE!  Get your kid out of here.  You’re scaring the carp out of him . . . (and annoying me) but mostly scaring the crap out of him.

See, there’s an observation deck, an indoor bar with beautiful views and three death defying amusement park rides.  One is a twirly gig that takes you over the city, spinning you round in circles as your feet dangle over the city.

This was my first choice for a ride . . . but as Megan pointed out, everyone looked bored when they got off.

Another is a roller coaster type ride that gives you the feeling of teetering on the edge of oblivion.

While artistic, still frightening.

Then there’s the drop.  A ride that takes you even higher than the tower itself and gives you a free fall.

That's just looking up on the ride.

That’s just looking up on the ride.

That’s looking down.

Megan and I chose the drop.  Now, the thing about these rides is that they all run the same way.  They strap you in.  The seats rise to the top and then you wait  what feels like an excruciatingly long time for the seats to go into a free fall . . . well, not here.  Instead, you wait at the bottom while the operator counts down form 10.  He says, “Ten, nine, eight –”  Oh shit!  This ride doesn’t rise slowly at all.  It shoot you into the air and then has you do a number of free falls.  Didn’t expect that.  Megan was screaming the whole time.  i could NOT STOP LAUGHING.  It was the funniest thing to me.  I was all hearty giggles.  That woke me up and gave me a permanent smile.  Just a real happy smile . . . See:

I think this is most genuine smile I’ve seen in a photo of me. It just took walking on the edge of death to get it.

Here’s what we looked like during the ride.

I look confused. Megan looks like she has neck muscles of steel.

There was only one thing to do after an experience like that . . . drink.  SO we had a few brews at the bar and then headed to our Venetian Gondola ride.  We rode with an older couple who were very cute.  They looked like they met on the Internet.  A large man sand to us and we enjoyed the lights of Vegas as we sailed down the fake canal.  By the time we were done we were starved . . .so we headed to BLT and had some burgers and headed back to the hotel.  We were wiped.  Unfortunately, we decided to take a short cut through a mall.  We felt like we were getting somewhere when I made the observation, “You know what’s crazy about Vegas?  There’s so many duplicates of stores . . . wait.”  Megan looked at me with her sad, tired eyes.  “Oh, God, I’m so sorry.  I’m so so sorry.  We just spent a half hour going in a circle.”  We ended up back at the start of the mall.  By the time we got back to MGM, we were just exhausted.  We crashed for the night.  Even though it was only 12am.

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