© 2012 Timmy Tamisiea. All rights reserved. For the person who drinks in appreciation for taste.

321/365 – An Adult Kind of Dwelling Space

I don’t care what anyone says, the real difference between an adult living space and the space of someone who refuses to grow up is wall art.

Yeah, you heard me.  Stuff your theories about furniture and kitchen appliances and fresh fruit and bar soap as indicators of an adult dwelling.  Wall art is the dividing line between an apartment that feels like an adult lives there and one where someone who just woke up at 3pm lives.  It shows age, maturity, experience . . . damn it , it shows taste.

Let me extrapolate this theory . . . I’d call it a fact but who needs the “liberal media” breathing down their neck.

See, there are indicators of where someone is in their life according to the condition of the walls.  Here are a few examples:

THE BARE WHITE WALLS

For crying out loud, God! Grow up and put some of that Renaissance art on your walls!

This is the clearest indication of someone who hasn’t even begin to accept the key to adulthood.  It screams, “I’m not ready to commit — to a girl, a job or even this apartment.”  It shows that this person is in a state of flux and hanging anything would mean they are sticking around.  Which they aren’t.  Nope.  Putting something up would be contrary to their nomad lifestyle — even to their “stick it to the man” attitude.  So white walls they stay.

It also means that any disposable income they have is going towards beer.  Or take out.  There’s no way in hell they’re buying “wall art.”  “Why spend money on stupid things to inhabit my wall when half the time I’ll be drunk and the other half I’ll be watching internet porn?”  Which leads us to . . .

THE POSTER WALL

So many other people for me to be but myself!

Listen people, posters aren’t wall art.  They’re only wall art when you frame them.  Okay, I’ll give you knuckleheads the benefit of the doubt and include the cheap Walgreens frames you can buy for 5 bucks.  Posters are what college kids put up in their dorm rooms to help people define them . . . at least temporarily.

Michael Bay’s pinup poster in college.

See, posters are temporary if not framed.  Otherwise they just get ratty and torn up — each corner exposed to multiple pin holes from your constant rearranging.  There’s smudges from your dirty hands all over the edges . . . I mean, that Scarface poster isn’t gonna last forever and that Marajuna Leaf poster will probably be in the trash by the time you get your first job.

Ah, yes, such a great work of art. Would you like another glass of chardonnay before we convene to the dinning chamber?

In the poster owner’s subconscious, they know that their personality and tastes will shift over the years.  So, that poster is just a temporary solution for the greater journey ahead . . . the journey of self discovery into adulthood.  When Peter McBlowhard turns 30, you really think he’s going to plaster his walls with beer posters and images of Elle McPhereson . . .

Okay, look at it this way:

Non-Adult Poster:

For someone who drinks to get fucked up.

And the Adult poster:

For the person who drinks in appreciation for taste.

Nuff said:

THE BLACK LIGHT POSTER WALL

He’s so straight laced.

Really?  I have to explain this to you? . . . Black light posters are the same as above, but invlove cheap thrills on a low budget.  And pot.  Grow up, Poindexter.

THE WALL ART

 

This is somewhat about taste, but more about presentation.  Framing is a big part of it.  When you spend 100 bucks on good glass frames at an actual frame shop, you stop looking for crappy movie posters and start looking for movie art.  You stop buying funny LOL posters and start acquiring clever graphic designs.  This is one of our rooms in the new apartment — the posters could be considered frivolous, but their presentation is all adult:

Anyway, I’m only ranting because it took me 2 days to get all this art up.  Maybe I need to go back to posters of Looney Tunes and white walls.  This adult shit is too much.

 

 

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