© 2013 Timmy Tamisiea. All rights reserved. Adventure Time

483/365 – I’M BACK, BITCHES! — PART 1

Helloooooooo!  Did you miss me?  I missed you… all 6 of my readers; you dedicated few who stuck around, waiting patiently everyday for a new post.  Yes, you 6.  So proud of you.  And as soon as your parole hearings are scheduled, I will be there to make sure you stay in jail so you can continue to read.  So, in celebration of day 483/365 Ice will bring me back in style!

Yeeeeeee!  It’s a party born in 1991.  And I’m bring out the hyper-color shirts Saved By The Bell references, and the nagging feeling that my acne is keeping girls form like me . . . awwww, 8th grade sucked.

As for the rest of you, I realized that this blog, despite my jokes about it being the least read blog on the planet (that goes to TimmyandMegan.com – what losers.), people were actually missing it.  I know, right.  I assumed all those hits on the front page were just internet bots looking to advertise porn… What?  They were.  Oh.

NO, screw you porn bots.  See, I got some of the nicest comments form readers saying how much they enjoyed my musings. So porn bots, be prepared for an all out war!!!!!!!

Yes, I consider Ricardo Mantalban the equivalent of a Porn Bot . . . don’t you?

Ricardo Maltaban

Hello, Megan and Timmy dot com. I am Ricardo. Would you like a subscription to some interracial porn? Even if it’s sexy, sexy porn?

Look, true unbelievers, I had always planned to come back, but let me tell you, I had some battle fatigue.  While I missed writing the blog, I did NOT miss writing it every day.  Every god damn day.  Talk about prison sentences.  I was neglecting my screenplays and sketch comedy because those daily posts were so time consuming.  Almost as time consuming as my sex life  . . . right Megan?

Yep

What do you mean Megan thinks sex is like being in Ghost Town Jail?

What’s important is I’m back, and there’s a lot of changes in store.  Good changes.  Why, there’s been a lot of personal changes since that last post 118 days ago.  But here are some blog changes that will excite or bore you.  Or “Khan” you.  Whatever.  Read…

CHANGE 1) NO MORE DAILY POSTS

These stylish warners are actually hiding my mangled carpal tunnel wrists - that I did out of love for you, my readers.

These stylish warners are actually hiding my mangled carpal tunnel wrists – that I did out of love for you, my readers.

It’s just too hard and I think the quality suffers a bit.  I plan on doing a minimum of 1 post a week and a maximum of 3.   That way, I can stay sane and you can actually read wonderfully fun and fascinating rants instead of the obligatory, “I have no idea what to write” post . . . Or the often pointless, “Look at this video of a kitten/dog/gamer/killing.  Neat, huh?” post.  LAME!

CHANGE 2) A NEW LOOK

If I don't change my WordPress theme soon, my MeganandTimmy will look like this . . . which could be an improvement. . . is that

If I don’t change my WordPress theme soon, MeganandTimmy will look like this . . . which could be an improvement. . . is that Kareem Abdul Jabar in the middle on the bottom.. Yes!  Celebrity endorsements!

As you may have noticed, the home page for this site is way outdated . . . ie, the theme I chose almost 2 years ago has not been updated.  The title of the page is missing, the bookmarks are now embedded over the main picture and everything is little crunched.  Basically,  the page is missing a bunchof info and looks messy and gross — like the first time I had sex.  In the next month, I’ll be looking for a new WordPress theme.  IN FACT:

If you readers have suggestions of WordPress Themes, PLEASE PLEASE, PLEASE send them to me.  I want you people to be just as involved in this blog as I have been in my sex life …

I’m looking for something that inspirtes and represents this new blogging venture.  Which brings me to —

CHANGE 3) A NEW MISSION 

My new mission was goping to be about taking down Osama Bin Laden - but somebody already thought of that.  Jerks!

My new mission was goping to be about taking down Osama Bin Laden – but somebody already thought of that. Jerks!

The original objective of this blog was to write a post everyday for 365 days – the first year of my marriage to the wonderfully funny, beautiful and talented Megan Tamisiea… To track the life of two misfit newlyweds o the journey through life… And even in that I failed a little as my posts ventured away from posts about Megan and love and marriage and sex and marriage and Megan and dinner and sex . . . and evolved into posts about whatever I could scrounge up form my mind (See change 1).

From here on out, I’ll continue that tradition and stop pretending that this is a marriage blog.  Cause it’s not.  It’s a outlet for me to corrupt the youth culture and organize the old… and 36 year olds… and talk about Skyim.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! . . . okay, yes.

KAHHHHHHHN!

CHANGE 4) A NEW NAME

gg

And I expect all of you to wear your so the new website doesn’t feel lost, okay?

With new missions come new names.  You see, I lied a little above.  This blog, sure, was started as a record of the first 365 days of marriage.  THIS WEBSITE was started as an information center for Megan and I’s nuptials – the who, why, what, where and when of October 1, 2011.  We’ll it’s time to come to terms with this… That purpose is as old as my balls.

So, the site will morph again with a new name.  While I look for a new theme, I will also search  for a new domain name.  Again…

If you readers have suggestions of domain names, PLEASE PLEASE, PLEASE send them to me.  I want you people to be just as involved in this blog as I have been in your sex life

What?  Read that again, Timmy… Nope.  I think it’s right.

Anyway, MeganandTimmy.com will soon be a memory.  I may change it to a domain I already have, UncleDickComedy.com or maybe just TT.com or TSquared.com.  Who knows.  Maybe I’ll eat a brownie.  THE WORLD IS MY FUCKING OYSTER!

Kahhhn!

Kahhhn!

CHANGE 5) SPELLING

Hey!  Don't blame my blog for his bad spelling and lack of self awareness.

Hey! Don’t blame my blog for his bad spelling and lack of self awareness.

I’m really gonna try and be a better editor and get my words spelled right… whatever.  Don’t hold me to that.  I’m a writer, not a speller, people!

And with that, I say, welcome back all 6 of my readers . . . Ooooh, wait, I have another inmate reading.  That makes 7.  I’m so popular amongst the orange suit crowd.

"Kahhhn"  What is MeganandTimmy talking about?

“Kahhhn”?  What is MeganandTimmy talking about?

BUT, as you can tell, this post title says, “Part 1.”  that means I should probably update all you inmates and other long time readers (felons or not) with what the hell I’ve been up to the last few months.  Oh, so many changes.  So, tune in tomorrow for…

I’M BACK BITCHES! PART 2!!!!!!!EXCLAMATIONPOINT!!!!!1!!!!!!NUMBERONE!!!!!!!!!!period.

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