Last night I had 4 Tecate beers. Four. F-O-U-R. You know how many fingers are on your hand, minus the thumb? Four . . . okay, maybe five. Here’s the thing, ether Tecate really doesn’t jive with me or I truly am hitting the breaking […]
Tag Archives: beer
224/365 – Chilltastic
Drink a Miller Lite. Then down some nasty, expired lime syrup. Wait. Take a shit then feed that shit to a baby. Wait. Let the baby take a shit in it’s diaper. Eat the diaper with a few cups of sugar. Shit out the diaper […]
196/365 – Abby & His Bachelor Party (A children’s book for ages 9-90.)
I’m going to a strip club tonight. I don’t feel like mincing words are bring clever . . . it’s a strip club. Where sad, lonely men think women adore them and want to be with them. A strip club. A place where fat men […]
162/365 – New Friend Drinking
I don’t have a lot to say today . . . I can barely type. Unless you’re just randomly clicking on links in this blog and the titles mean nothing to you, you might have guessed — I’m hungover. I seem to be drinking a […]
24/365 – Treevenge!
TREEVENGE! Today’s been one of those days. Not the one where you wake up and your son is outside playing and when you get the paper you realize that everyone else is looking at the LA skyline and then you do and there’s a huge […]
14/365 – Pumpkins in the Park
Pumpkins in the Park What is Pumpkins in the Park, you ask. Why, good sir and/or madame, it’s Chicago’s Halloween themed 5k run in Lincoln Park. The last and only time Megan and I participated in a 5k was the Shamrock Shuffle in 2009. There […]
347/365 – Oh, Tell The Old Man In The Kitchen to SHUT UP!
Listen, I’m well aware of my age. Just because you aren’t doesn’t mean I’m not. It’s also no big secret that for the first time in my life I’m hiding my age from the public. This isn’t some kind of midlife crisis or some ruse […]