As a point of reference for this blog post, let me give you a list of jobs* I’ve held over the years. (*Jobs as in I actually got paid) TIMMY JOBS: THE SHORT LIST Paperboy Lifeguard Greeter at The Warner Brothers Studio Store College Box […]
Tag Archives: Conan
347/365 – Oh, Tell The Old Man In The Kitchen to SHUT UP!
Listen, I’m well aware of my age. Just because you aren’t doesn’t mean I’m not. It’s also no big secret that for the first time in my life I’m hiding my age from the public. This isn’t some kind of midlife crisis or some ruse […]
344/365 – Almost Famous
So, I’m sitting in the 3rd floor kitchen in the Conan offices — also known as the monologue interns’ writers room — finishing up my second round of batches when a sketch writer comes in. He looks around the room, a confused and slightly […]
341/365 – Conan’s Bruise
This past week I was lucky to have witness, live, an event that made all the internet buzz. I could explain it, but video is really worth a thousand words. I’ll just say, that as I was at the Conan rehearsal during this event, I […]
340/365 – Pay It Forward
A lot of people are up in arms about the idea of internships. The New York Times had article that basically compared internships to the modern day equivalent of indentured servitude. At least indentured servants were promised something at the end of their tenure. Interns have […]
327/365 – Audience PA & Pete Holmes
Today, the fan was stricken by feces. I mean, it was good feces . . . not the smelly kind. The kind I usually produce; smells like roses, comes out with a bow and looks like a pony. That kind of feces. I was only […]
326/365 – A Letter From The Trenches
Dear (insert Civil War sounding name here . . . maybe Ruth or Abigale), Things have been quiet down here in the trenches of Conan. I feel as if all we’ve done is reorganized the kitchen . . . so much tea. Everywhere tea. Tea. […]
324/365 – Termite Terrace
Today I started my internship with Conan . . . But let me back track a bit to give you some perspective about what happened today. See, a long time ago, there was actually a place where art was organically produced as opposed to being […]
311/365 – And . . . Cue Dreams
5:23pm. Returning to my desk at the PGA. I sit down and look at my laptop. There’s an e-mail form a Mr. Clark – the writers assistant at Conan . . . This has to be the results of the monologue internship test. Now, usually, […]
307/365 – Monologue Test
I just finished the test. The monologue test for Conan. I’ve been talking about it for days. You must know what it is by now. NO? Look at yesterday’s post for some details . . . Okay. So, at noon I went full force. I […]
306/365 – Test Prep
Okay, so here’s how the Conan test will go. At noon, tomorrow, Friday the 3rd of August, I (and 7 other applicants) will have exactly one hour to write 10 joke premises. NOTE: not jokes but premises- i.e. a basic set up: “Yesterday, Prince William […]
304/365 – Musical Auditions
You know that dreadful feeling you get in the pit of your stomach before an important event? It feels like pulsating orb radiating electricity to your limbs. It’s really powerful. It takes away your appetite, disrupts your sleep patterns and even screws with your […]
300/365 – Monologue Test
I think I’m one of those people who fears success. Or, at least, I think that my behavior is what that term refers to. The idea that when you have a success, you can either relish in it, or you see the responsibility and work […]
283/365 – It’s Not What You Know . . .
Really. This town — Hollywood, Los Angeles, what ever you want to call it — this down is redonkulous when it comes to talent. I’m not saying that there isn’t any talent here. There’s tons of it. But it so saturated in crap that, often, […]
365/365 – Good Night
Part of my job at Conan is to stand in the isle of the studio audience during the commercial breaks. Not too sure of the purpose other than keeping an eye out for people taking pictures or recording the show. The few times I’ve done […]