I was asked what my biggest fear was a few weeks back.  It was for an improv class and I was unprepared for the question, so I just blurted out, “Bugs!”  Don’t get me wrong, bugs are nasty little shit heads.  I mean, that whole scene in Temple of Doom just freaks my shit out.  I get shivers just thinking about it.

I know, the bug with blonde hair is the creepiest.

Still, it’s not my biggest fear.  In fact, I’d say going to prison is my biggest fear.  I would never survive in prison.  I’d just have to accept the fact that I would become someone’s girlfriend.  Take down the biggest guy in the prison yard?  Yeah, right.  Maybe if by “take down” you mean “woo” then I’m all set . . .

How did I know you like tattoos? A woman’s intuition, I guess.

See, there’s something about mindless hoards of former humans stomping the earth, looking to devour normal folks like me — NO, I don’t mean Republicans.  The thing that has always held a morbid fascination for me are zombies.  They scare me, but I’m also naturally drawn to them.

See, when I was about 7 or 8, there was this late night program on USA Television called Night Flight.  They usually showed weird. scary movies.  I was never allowed to stay up late enough to watch the show, but the commercials kept drawing me in.  So much so that finally, one spring night, I snuck downstairs after everyone was asleep, turned on the TV and hunkered down for a long, frightening night . . . in the dark . . . all by my lonesome.

A talent I would learn to carry on into my internet porn years.

What were they showing?  Night of The Living Dead.  The original black and white version.  I watched the whole thing, beginning to end.  Let me tell you something about Night of The Living Dead, nothing about that film makes you feel safe.  Even the credits end with this eerie music that is so unsettling that you know the nightmare continues well after the film is done.

I had nightmares about zombies for months.  I couldn’t shake them.  But, that horror eventually turned into a fascination.  I think because the Zombie horror can become a game of strategy — more so than any other horror genre.  If you’re up against a manic killer, you can throw strategy out the window.  You can’t really strategize against ghosts.

Correction. You can strategize against ghosts if you have an old TV without reception.

Well, this topic came about because I came across this short zombie film.  It’s unique in that it’s totally told from the perspective of our favorite friends; dogs.  I kind of liked it.  Take a look, but remember, it’s a zombie film, so there are some really disturbing images.

Play Dead (2012) FULL MOVIE from Andres and Diego Meza-Valdes on Vimeo.