Listen, I don’t expect television shows to have theme songs that blow your mind away . . . You know what, screw that.  Yes, I do.  With the third world problem solving budgets these studios have, I’m sure paying for the theme music wouldn’t take any donuts away from the cast.

Well, as long as my hunger is because the money went to a new theme song for The Big Bang Theory, I’m cool.

Gordon Ramsay’s new “look at me helping people with the ‘f’ word” reality show is the epitome of bad theme music.  It’s not as if his other shows have these artistic, emotionally stirring openings, but this one takes the cake . . . The rotten, spoiled barely edible cake.

Here you go! My cat made it all by himself.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath . . . maybe stand in front of your over filling trash can.  Now, imagine your at a small town carnival.  Actually, make it a state fair — that may be an oxymoron.  You’re following a group of men in homemade sleeveless tees and women in halter tops — neon colored halter tops AND tube tops.  You arrive at a dry river bed, dust filling the air as “shit kickers” and shuffle back and forth.  A band takes the stage — a band that plays mostly covers and only state fairs.  Now click the video below and you’ll get your opening song of the Palookaville State Fair:

Add in some really bad green screen and, boom, you have an epic of cartoon proportions.  And by epic I mean the equivalent of a toddler doing finger painting as he;s falling asleep.

Here’s your sheet music, Mr. Ramsay.

And what is with Gordon Ramsey’s robot demeanor?  I imagine he has to become a Vulcan and shut out all emotion just to get through his “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” esque walk through “Hotel Hell.”  Seriously, look in his eyes.  You know he walked off the green screen set and fired the first person he saw.  Unfortunately is was probably a PA and not teh music supervisor.  Ghat guy hides out in his music cave, planing his next venture in to absurd mediocrity.